Life Cycle Psychology

It is clear to everyone that life has a course with a beginning, a middle, and an end.
The psychology of life cycle is a branch of psychology that tries to relate the place where an individual is in the course of his/her life with the kind of issues that the person is facing and with the kind of resources s/he will have available to face those issues. And, eventually, the kind of disturbance s/he could develop in case s/he fails to cope successfully with those issues.
From a theoretical point of view, the concept of stages of life comes from the thinking of developmental scientists.

This concept not only involves the idea that there are different phases in life, but emphasizes the belief that any phase builds upon the previous ones. In the same way a boy can't learn how to divide or multiply without first knowing how to add or subtract, the fact of forming adult relationships outside of the family of origin is problematic for a person who never had acceptable relationships at home. When understood in this manner, the concept of stages of life is a very powerful one. For instance, this means that, in diagnosing a patient's disturbance, the life cycle psychologist will attempt to determine at what stage the individual failed to meet the task of that phase of life. The person's poor performance in the stages that follow can then be understood in terms of the lack of the required preparation for that stage.

Thus life cycle psychology is in favour of using therapy as an attempt to correct the deficits created by the unsuccessful completion of a previous stage in life.

How to Get Over Heartbreak???

Heartbreak is painful and terrible, but it happens to everyone. That depressed, defeated feeling is enough to scare even the most optimistic of lovers into closing themselves off. But heartbreak is a common experience, part of a normal love life, and you can get over it. Here are some steps to help you get over the pain.

Step1 Let go. Realize the relationship is truly over. You cannot begin moving on until you completely give up on that person. Put your former lover completely out your system. Discard the last shred of hope that you may get back together.

Step2 Come to terms with the relationship. Once you have accepted that it is over, you are ready to make amends with yourself. Forgive yourself for mistakes you may have made. Quit staying up at night thinking "If I had only done..." because it doesn't matter now. The relationship is over.

Step3 Stay busy. Keep your mind occupied, and if you can't keep your mind occupied, keep your body occupied. Try not to be alone. Go out with friends, play sports, take up a new hobby. Try to avoid the routines you used to follow during the relationship.

Step4 Seek new experiences. The best way to forget the old is to embrace the new. Now is a good time to broaden your horizons. Find out for yourself that there is more to life than that one lost love.

Step5 Break the habit. This person may have been a large part of your life. You may have had daily rituals that involved him or her. Avoid situations that remind you of their absence. Now you have to find other activities to fill the void.

Step6 Find a healthy outlet. Write in your journal or talk with friends. Get out all those nasty feelings: They are easier to deal with when they are on the table rather than pent up inside.

What is Decision Making?

What is Decision Making? Decision making is the study of identifying and choosing alternatives based on the values and preferences of the decision maker. Making a decision implies that there are alternative choices to be considered, and in such a case we want not only to identify as many of these alternatives as possible but to choose the one that best fits with our goals, desires, lifestyle, values, and so on. Decision making is the process of sufficiently reducing uncertainty and doubt about alternatives to allow a reasonable choice to be made from among them. This definition stresses the information gathering function of decision making. It should be noted here that uncertainty is reduced rather than eliminated.Very few decisions are made with absolute certainty because complete knowledge about all the alternatives is seldom possible. Thus, every decision involves a certain amount of risk. Our destiny is shaped not by the circumstances that come our way, but by the decisions we make. All during the day we make decisions. Sometimes we decide not to decide. The decision not to act is not necessarily the wrong one. It depends on the circumstances. On the one hand we don't want to be rash and act on our impulses without considering the consequences of our actions, and on the other hand we don't want to be indecisive and indefinitely refuse to act, for if we do so, we'll remain in a rut, with no hope for the better in sight. It's a matter of balance. And we arrive at that balance by analyzing our decisions and our motives for those decisions. Refusing to act until we have ENOUGH information is a wise decision. But refusing to act until we have ALL the information is probably unrealistic. To make the largest gains, try to be decisive. That is, make decisions quickly. For the faster you act, the more time you will have to make more decisions, thereby speeding up your progress. Yet, you will want to balance speed with sufficient time to make thoughtful decisions. For if you act too quickly, you may make mistakes that slow down your progress or even bring it to a halt. It is prudent to think before we act. Yet, if we refuse to act because we are afraid of making a mistake, we do the very thing we are afraid of because failure to act is a mistake. Failure to act is failure to seize an opportunity. Failure to act is failure to grow and improve our lives.Our task becomes easier when we accept the fact that the decision making process is risky business and we are imperfect. Mistakes are inevitable, but nothing to fear, for they will provide either valuable lessons or delightful surprises.Making the decision to act is the easy part. Following through on that decision is the crucial part. Be decisive. Don't allow the following contemptuous words of Winston Churchill (1874 ~ 1965) apply to you, "They are decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, solid for fluidity, all-powerful to be impotent." You are not impotent. You are important. So, claim the prize you deserve by releasing the power you have, and do it today. If we want to change our lives, all we have to do is change our minds! If we want to improve our lives, all we have to do is improve the choices we make. And the remarkable thing is we have the power of choice NOW. It is already in our hands.

Love & Aloneness

There is a most bizarre word the media and the psychologists have begun to use to describe loneliness in our societies: they say it has become an epidemic. An epidemic! A description normally reserved for extremely prevalent and widespread diseases – that is what this state of mind has become.
And the statistics back it up. A third of the citizens of many civilized countries admit to suffering from extreme loneliness. And the impact on our physical health - one study reported that isolated men were 25% more likely to die than those in a relationship, and the women 33% more likely.
Why is loneliness so painful? There are many reasons – but there is one in particular I’m starting to notice. Loneliness is a curse because we don’t know who we are - and that is our basic anxiety. When you are alone, all your self knowledge, your identity, your personality - your ego begins to unravel. The deeper into your aloneness you go, the more you see all your self-knowledge as they are – false.
And it is scary – what you have known your entire life - false! It is so scary that much of our culture is based around this fear. Social clubs, associations, political parties, and even cafés – they all exist for one thing: so one can avoid being alone. And what if we are by ourselves? Then we turn to music, alcohol, the television, the Internet – all to avoid being in our own company.
But the strange thing is – losing our false identity, it is a blessing. It can be scary, yes, but when we turn around and face it - when we turn our loneliness into aloneness –that is when we begin to experience what is real.
When you are alone, everything that you have disowned, everything that you refuse to accept or acknowledge – they begin to arise. We begin to truly know ourselves, to see the genuine. And that is not something that can be told - it has to be experienced.

"IS THIS ALL" - THE EMPTY FEELING

'NOSTALGIA' is a word often used when we think of good things that have happened in the past. It comes from two Greek words, nostos meaning return home, and algos meaning pain. It is more than just remembering. It also means a feeling of pain, of loss. It is very like 'homesickness' - the pain, the desire we may have to be back in our home place.

There is another similar feeling that we often have. It is the strange sense that we do not really belong here. We often can have both feelings - a feeling of loss and pain, homesickness (even though we may be at home) , and also that somehow, we do not really quite belong in the world. C. S. Lewis, the British author, wrote of his "inconsolable longing....for news from a country we have never visited." Malcolm Muggeridge, journalist and author, and at one time strong atheist, said that from the time he was a boy, he had a sense of being a stranger in this world. He felt there was a world beyond this to which he was moving.

That strange spaceIt seems as if there is a space inside us which we can try to fill with many things. We may try money, ambition, sex, drugs, sport, even following a religion, but somehow these things do not quite give us the answer we are looking for. If we are lucky enough to have good relationships with family and friends, these may go nearer than other things to filling that space.

The advertising trickAdvertising also adds to these feelings. Adverts say,
"Buy this, do that! Then you will be as happy and beautiful as the people in the advert. Or else, you are no good!" And we believe it, and buy the thing! And it does not make us happier or more beautiful. The world of advertising is a trick.

Questions to think aboutIf we don't really belong here, where do we belong?
What will fill this space inside us, and satisfy us?